My American Thanksgivings:)

2010 Thanksgiving for the very first time

Meggers Macphaden is one of my first friends in Seattle. She is the first person that reached out to me when I was establishing a new life in America. As a local Seattlite, Meg has a very cohesive family and friend circle -a core that intimately provides her constant support.

(Meg's mom showed her turkey around the room.)

Meg is exceptionally willing to share her family love with me. What Megan has in her family is all that I have in Taiwan, hard-working and fun-loving parents, who are somewhat protective of their daughter and always have to deal with the girl's adventures that make them gasp.

                                                            (We are a pair of troubles.)

I imagined myself as the Caucasian newcomers that wanted to express my gratitude to the natives. I made Kimchi fried rice, and absolutely loved Meg's mom's Southern-style cooking with a Northwest touch. It was my first time having brussel sprouts, and I totally loved them! I also fell in love with American pie, which are not really good for your waist line especially when you eat it with ice cream, but yum.....!!

                                                                     (A table of yummies!)

I was shocked when Meg's dad volunteered to do dishes and her boyfriend at the time helped make food and clean up too. Coming from a traditional Taiwanese family, boys usually don't do kitchen stuff unless they are told to do so. Some women consider kitchen their territory that they do not want men to touch anything.

                                                 (Do I not look like an adopted daughter?)

I was pleasantly surprised by how American men are helping out in the kitchen, and is glad that my brother and some Asian boys in my generation are taught well in this respect. Still, I consider cooking as my pride of being a woman, just like how meeting other social expectations empowers me.

2011 Thanksgiving with Northwest Islanders

It took me a while to figure out what to make for Ellen's family. Ellen is another friend of mine who is also a Washington native, to be more specific, a native islander. She grew up on Vashon, a Puget Sound island full of hippies and rednecks.

                                                               (They raise chicken for eggs)

Ellen's family is absolutely hippie-ish, extremely liberal minded, health-conscious diet (local/organic), and have their own chicken and goats. I wanted to bring something they would surely eat, so definitely not some weird Asian food or Americanized Asian food, but baked yam chips, very basic and simple, catering to hippies of all regions.

                                           (We had a great dinner and a great hike the next day!)

We went on a hike the next morning with Ellen's lovely parents and puppy-super healthy activity right after Thanksgiving. Ellen's family is full of love as well, but not as expressive as Megan's. They're fun too, but calm and mellow, whereas Meg's family is more goofy and playful. It's great how family love is contagious and continue to warm my heart in my Seattle life.

2012 Thanksgiving with Japanese American family

My friend Mariko is a 4th generation Japanese American. It is impressive how they can stick to their cultural heritage for 4 generations straight in the melting pot. You'd think the family is full of traditions, but they are just as fun as other American families I've met.

                                                   (Mariko's warm smile and asparagus!)

Mariko has her Japanese and American elements. She's a small, friendly, and sweet Asian girl, and is also an adventurous, outdoorsy, and independent American young lady. Her parents are hardcore fisherman, and all of them cook fine cuisines.

                                                           (Another table of yummies!!)

I was expecting a ton of seafood but ended up having a lot of good meat and pies! There's also rice, sticky rice, and Asian-style pork and sweet potato. I made pumpkin ribs for them, modified from a Taiwanese dish-pumpkin pork. This is one of the few times I can make an authentic Asian dish without worrying that ppl won't eat it.

                                                      (Mariko's parents and friends)

I went climbing and hiking with my new Northwest friends on that weekend. It starts to feel like I am having my own circle and not always tagging along somebody else's family or partner circle. Transition is hard cuz you don't have a core, and at the same time you are not anyone else's priority. I'm glad my solid interest is making me a seemingly solid friend group that I can count on to hang out with.

          (Greg broke my stereotype of flaky Northwesterners cuz he makes things happen.)

And as always, always thankful to those that reach out to me and make me feel like home in my American life. That's what Thanksgiving is all about, sharing and giving, and love.

"Keep climbing! Make friends!"- advice from professional networking?!

"So what kind of music do you like?" asked Greg B., King County GIS Center marketing manager, aka past-president of GIS professionals. (GIS: geographic information system, geospatial technology tool)

"Well I am still developing my taste for American music, but so far I like folk music and bluegrass..." I said timidly. This is definitely not a question I would've expected out of a "professional networking" coffee. 

It all started during my new waitressing job at the Asian restaurant downtown. An old man walked in and sat by himself. I went over and talked to him during a break. My eyes got wide open when I heard he works for a publication company, has lived in China for 20 years, and has been doing international publishing, dedicating to cross-culture communication.

So I had coffee with this 50-60 year old man Jim B., and he connected me to the president of Washington China Relations Council Joe B., and King County GIS guy Greg B.

I have a wide spectrum of interests and is often confusing to people in terms of how they can help me. It seems like I am passionate about environmental science, geography, and natural resource management. But I am also bilingual and interested in communications and journalism. In addition I can do both field work that involves being in the woods or wilderness.

(Taroko National Park in Taiwan)

So the ideal job for me is to work on natural resource planning projects in a forest/mountain/rural community, and be the bridge between scientists and the public, or Western to Eastern culture (as what international conservancies would need).

But I need to start somewhere small and local, somewhere that involves a piece of my skills and get experienced, and thus more choices later on.

It is surprising how these professionals are willing to help, in a way that caters to my interest. Instead of simply telling me what to do, they asked me a lot of questions from what I want for a job to my hobbies and friends. 

"What is more difficult than mountain climbing?" asked another middle-aged guy that sat at the bar in our restaurant after he learned that I climb and do backpacking. 

(Outdoors is addictive)

"Nothing," but I was hesitant, because for me being in the wilderness gives me energy to go back to my life that's full of uncertainties. I love mountains and rocks, cuz they are the most solid thing on earth, more solid than anything I can feel in my US life without family and a full-time job.

It reminds me of Scott K., another 50-year old white man, a hydroengineer who climbs. We met at a professional conference on water resources, and ran into each other at the bouldering gym. Ever since then we've gone out climbing once with his 20 something coworkers and a couple of times at the gym.

"Once you start working you'll make friends, and things will come along. If you are in the field of environmental science there's no lack of outdoorsy folks." said Scott K. There are only 35 people in his environmental consulting company, and there are 3 couples, 2 of them are climbers. 

(Mad River Trail with Tobias & Megan- never gotta stop making friends for outdoor fun)

On the other hand the King County GIS guy suggested me not only to look for a job, but friends: "Friends are important. You don't just find jobs, you should find friends that share your interest and you'll be happier staying here." He spoke to my heart exactly. Then he asked me about my music taste, and I learned that his son is in a bluegrass band and is working a GIS job in Portland. He is a couple days older than me and is a dude who would friend a bum.

So he'd probably friend me, a girl who has solid interest, fluid life, and is transient not by choice. I am still on my monthly lease, ready to move for jobs whenever wherever I get one.

(I finally went climbing with a group of folks around my age!)

"Don't go back, do what you gotta do here." said EVERYONE. They see me working hard, and going back home seems like a full-fledged bird that's ready to fly, but stays in its nest for comfort.

Sometimes you forget that we are all humans. Humans live by connections, and connections is not just about benefits and networking. It is about something deeper within you that gives you a role in somebody else's life. Professional networking, when it comes down to it, is also a form of connection between two human beings. 

And I am glad that they learn about me as Kelly who studies this, wants to do that, and is interested in blah blah blah. Not just Kelly who has a XX degree and needs a job.

So I'll keep applying for jobs, do what I like, sit back and see how things would hopefully eventually come along. If not, I will still be climbing, hiking, writing, and have a life like I did in school and will do forever.

Seattle Life VS American Dream

The Seattle dream

Numerous come here for the "fresh" air. People are forward-looking, hard-working, and progressive. As it seems, many also hold a healthy lifestyle, biking even on a rainy day and buying their local organic grocery.

(Sustainability everywhere in town)

This is the Seattle dream. You work for a big name company (Google, Amazon, Microsoft, Boeing, Apple...etc), participate in a variety of sports/activities from hot yoga to stand-up paddleboarding, or whitewater rafting and hiking on the Eastside of the Cascades. You can also enjoy highly intellectual conversations with randomners or go to science talks/exhibitions to fulfill the civic need.

The Seattle rain

To enjoy the lush green and the scenic view, or perhaps the NW signature salmon, you gotta bear the rain.

It's fairly unbearable for a subtropical girl like me. I am used to humidity. Despite the constant rain Seattle, it is still dry enough to cause my dry-eye syndrome that I need an eye ointment to keep them moist. Not that I hate dry air. It'll be more desirable if the rain comes as thunderstorm that just leaves in half an hour, as dynamic as you can feel the vibration of mother earth.  

(You don't wait for a sunny day to do field work in lush woods)

I remember the thunderstorm chasing me when I hiked down Mt Olympus in Salt Lake City. That was scary but wonderful. That is what rain is supposed to be, for me. The typhoon in Taiwan is the same. It brings a cool breeze to the extreme warmth, like a timely drop on a dessert plant.

The Seattle Freeze

Say you're satisfied and adjusted to the weather, and consider that fresh salmon, a Mariners game, or freshly-brewed IPA is definitely worth the rain in Seattle.

Next you would need friends to make your NW experience more enjoyable.

If you're lucky, you make friends with the locals, or hang out with people you've known from out of town. You can also join the online dating/meetup or any partner-finding or friend-making website to expand your social circle.

Or you'll end up like me, lucky enough to be invited to my NW friend's circle, but never able to find a group of my own that share the same interest, lifestyle, and values that associated with the same stage in life- that is the twenties in transition, down to travel and see the world.

That is what I used to have in Taiwan where I have different friend groups that share different interests and values. But like myself, a lot of them are traveling and experiencing different jobs/towns.

                                        (Summer is always fun, and yeah, all the ladies)

In general, people don't invest friendship unless they know you enough and you share their activities. The locals stick to their "core" -family or partner, or old friends, and barely reach out when they meet new folks.

This is nothing to blame, but it was a cultural shock to me coming from Taiwan, where people are inviting, welcoming, and nice to you for no reason. Especially when you're new to the place and interested in the local wonders, they often can't wait to show you around and make you love the place as much as they do.

Most of the Northwesterners aren't like that. I love the American West and some parts of American culture, especially the outdoors lifestyle, but few would appreciate that and consider it's their business to reach out to you.

                                        (Salt Lake City, Utah's friendliness impressed me big time)

My connection to this land is mostly built through reading, traveling, and some good friends. Unlike my connection and travel experiences in Thailand or rural Taiwan, it's almost all built on peer travelers and local friendships.

Ongoing cultural shock

The culture is making me more closed-off because people are usually only genuinely friendly when they are close to you. If I were to be more friendly and inviting, I am exposing myself to a weird situation where with guys they'll think you're hitting on them, and with girls, they'll respond in a friendly but distant way.

  (NW lady friends)

What if I just want to make friends?

There is no such thing because my new roommate says guys only gets two messages from single girls 1. She likes me. 2. She doesn't like me.

This means you can either hang out and potentially start dating, or not be friends. There is no such thing like my friendship with guys in Taiwan. It seems awkward for people to think about the idea of making friends with an opposite sex when you are single. Cuz you don't make friends with new single guys/girls, or you date.

I met a Japanese dude my age in the National Taiwan Museum for a native Taiwanese exhibition two years ago. He was interested in Taiwanese culture and history, so I toured him around my home town and took him to my grandparents' place and let them talk in Japanese. He kept in touch with my grandma for a year and came back to Taiwan again and stayed in my grandparents' place.

That was the level of friendliness in Taiwan, and it was normal and wonderful.

My Seattle Jobs

It's been frustrating and unsatisfying, and I wonder how much longer can I stand.

I am a writer, but I'm just a cheap labor. The fact is I love my two unpaid writing jobs, one is with the Washington Wildlife and Recreation Coalition, and the other with the Seattle Chinese Times.

I go to free movies and theaters and write reviews, and even a restaurant to write a review for the Chinese Times. I also have four of my travel journals published with them and two OP-EDs, For the most part I write in English because the Chinese community in Seattle speak and write English better than Chinese, I guess. Though I wrote the travel journals and a review in Chinese to fully express my feelings in words.

My boss at the Coalition is a 26 year old young man. He is cute,smart, and friendly so I first thought he's gay, but it turned out that he's not. He assigned me writing tasks including newsletter, newspaper articles, and even edittting a letter to the governor/county official regarding local conservation and recreation projects.

These are great opportunities for me to build on my strengths and passion, but not something that pays my bills.

When your passion doesn't pay you

I have two paid part-time jobs now, so with the two unpaid ones, I have four.

To make money and see a different world I served in an Asian restaurant downtown. Downtown, meaning big tips and potential networking. But I also see a different world in America that many, especially the middle class in the country wouldn't realize.

The sushi chef is a 22 year old young man from China. He got here on a student VISA, but like me, got a work permission to stay for a period of time. However, he did not graduate. He dropped off UCLA because he bought his TOEFL(Test Of English as a Foreign Language ) score from a Chinese agency and cannot speak English at all. He is also not interested in studying so he went to San Francisco and started working with a Chinese buffet restaurant.

Unlike me, he was able to go home despite that his status is highly debatable (student VISA work permission only accepts jobs in your field and need to be either enrolled in school or graduated). He paid an American lawyer for his status, so he is able to travel.

Now he is super nice to our bartender-a 23 year old Greek girl. She grew up in a first generation immigration family, but has citizenship. The Chinese guy's plan is to marry her and get Greencard.

My other part-time jobs is to research Seattle Time's archive and collect all the NW dam-removal related news for a phD student from UC Santa Cruz.

Seattle Life VS American Dream

I have not gone home for 14 months. I am extremely homesick and have no idea what can potentially be a cure.

Maybe a full-time job that allows me to apply what I learn from school to environmental conservation, and I'll keep freelance writing just cuz I like it.

But I am ready to move on and experience other places outside of Seattle. After my epic trip to the wild West this summer, I am so reluctant to return and constantly felt out of place wandering on the streets in Seattle. My heart has flown away.

Finding jobs out of state is hard, unless you are an engineer, doctor or lawyer that seem to be welcome anywhere in the world. The employers look for in-state candidates first. I am also building my professional connections in the NW. Seattle also gives me my chances to do writings from an Asian perspective, and for the environment though I just started my writing path.

The only thing I know now is that I am not happy, and it's been 3 months that I am constantly going through ups and downs. Fortunately I have friends that keep in touch and encourage me to stay strong and positive.

I have come to believe that perhaps if America is not giving me a chance for a full-time job, or a chance to experience places outside of Seattle, I might as well go home, or just wherever I can stay happy and healthy.

Culture matters, and this is something that I didn't realize two years ago when I believe with friendliness and sensitivity you overcome cultural barrier. Because culture shapes you too, and I don't like it.

Take me away, or take me home; whatever that gets me.