Yes indeed job has been a huge reason why Kelly is still in Seattle. The world is so big, with so many awesome places to explore. Besides home, why should one feel obligated to stay in a city where you've been wondering the whole time whether it's the right place for you. And no, there's no answer. It's just a matter of time, and let's just say Seattle's right for Kelly for now.
I really really love my job. I went on a staff retreat on Whidbey Island the second week I came on. I've been accruing vacation days- one day every two week. I have health insurance. I work Monday to Friday 9-5 for the most part- I have total free time outside of regular work hours. I get paid decent enough to live a one-person life. I'm learning web management, managing our website and social media and feeling like a genius cuz I've never been tech-savvy. I do daily gift entry, which is kinda tedious, but I create thank you letters to donors at the end of the day and am loving the immediate tangible result. I have had interesting bonding moments with my coworkers, when three of us sat down and cried together about our frustrations in our lives.
I shared with them my frustrations-my constant struggle with different cultural expectation, and the fact that I wanna meet them all and it's impossible. My coworker shared her frustration of not being able to be creative anymore in her life, and we both have recently falling in love with Julia Cameron, who can inspire those who seek art in life, and how to be creative with small random things that make us happy.
(calligraphy is my new/old creative thing to do that makes me happy and glad to have some new friends to share this with!)
This happens when you get too caught up with work, or other priorities. For me, it's climbing. When my parents visited me in November, they pointed out that climbing has taken up so much time and energy in my life that I don't seem happy(calm and peaceful) and healthy (balanced and well-rested). They encouraged me to diversify my activities. I didn't care much until I was told, by an engineer friend, that my leisure time is structured.
I was really shocked. I consider myself relatively free-spirited and open-minded who can allow oneself to be shaped in various ways, so I can be able to navigate myself in a totally different part of the world. But he's right (and how can I ever be called structured by an engineer!). Ever since I got out of school, adventures, or outdoor adventures have become a huge priority cuz of the folks I exposed myself to, and in some ways, I might have believed that I can bond with them better than people who have other priorities.
I was wrong. My brother doesn't climb, my cousin doesn't climb, I have tons of friends that have different priorities and I still love hanging out with them in their, or our ways. Say if I have 10 elements in my life, climbing is just one, but why am I not spending more time doing other things?
It is not to say I regret that I climbed a ton. There is huge value in being able to concentrate and do one thing really well. But if I am structured to feel like I have to do something, or I have to be really strong and a good climber so I can climb more, I need to stop. Climbing, just like everything else in life, should be fun, not something that might stress me out.
My brother advised me to just have fun with everything outside of work. He said I work hard enough and that I am facing uncertainties still, with my life in the US, or even wherever I go, cuz I yearn to excel at things, that I need to learn how to just enjoy things and take things easy. Nobody's gonna die, like my boss always says.
Thus I've diversified my priorities, and guess what I'm super happy. Smart people tend to make intentional decisions to structure their lives in a certain way, but I want to make an intentional effort to think and live outside the box.
I wanna allow more changes, more cultures, more kinds of people, and more interesting things in my life. I wanna find things and people who would share my other elements in Seattle, just like that I had in Taipei.
I appreciate those who came out to visit me when my life was in a flux, you shared what you saw on me, changes, emotions, struggles, and everything personal that was essential but wasn't shared with others. I appreciate those who value me the way I am, and help me grow to be a more wholesome individual, and share the passion to do meaningful things in life.
My boss has recently agreed to sponsor me a work visa. I cannot imagine anything more generous then that. It is more about the visa and the fee, but the way they see value in me, or our relationship, is beyond nationality, cultural differences, and really, anything. I believe there's a ton of Americans that can do my job, but it is the most hard, to find the right person at the right time. I am in a good place.
My new year resolution is to not have an engineer call me structured anymore in anyway lol In three hour I am flying to Jamaica and will be in Colombia for new years.
I'm going to party like real hard, like a subtropical islander out of the freezing cold air in Seattle. Be free.
Happy new year :))))
