Sunday, December 23, 2012

Tipping demographics

The waitressing job has been interesting, if not exhausting. 

I have always been a full-time student till this past June when I officially came to the working world. Till now it still seems like a bad timing to enter the job market, but I just gotta keep trying.

I try everything. I work three jobs-an unpaid internship, waitressing at a restaurant, and a part-time research assistant. It is more than just paying my rent and climbing membership, but to make the most out of my travel-living in a foreign country; I wanna see a different world.

From serving sushi to drinks, I learned how to suggest food for folks who are visiting, on a date, or soaking wet from the rain. People who start to speak Japanese to me always want sake or sapporo, typical NW looking guys 20s-50s usually want IPAs. Ladies like wines and cocktails. Folks that don't talk much order Whiskey drinks.

I always chat a bit with customers. It's fun to see where people are coming from in terms of how they carry themselves, what they order, and how they tip.

Overtime I realize those that tip me the best are men in their 20s-50s, especially when they come with their buddies or themselves, not with a woman. It indeed feels like selling my smiles, but also being quick-witted-knowing what to ask to let people talk about stuff they are most comfortable sharing with you.

For whatever reason women are tricky. They'd call me "sweely" when I serve them well and have good conversations with them, but they'll never tip me as well as men would. On the contrary, our other male server/cocktailer "Kelly", a cute gay boy, always get great tips from women and gay men.


(Kelly & Kelly!)

From time to time I get flattered when professional looking men or cute boys tip me well, and tell me things like "You have a great smile." However the most rewarding thing is perhaps interesting perspectives I can share with them or gain from conversations with people.

I learned about "MRE" (Meals Ready to Eat) from a guy from California who came to Seattle to do business with shipping companies. He was in the marine and was working on a boat for a few years. A MRE has 1200 calories and the US boats traded that with Philippinos for fresh shrimps. He has a son and a daughter of my age, and he kept telling me his son is athletic and has a nice body. But then he told me not to be too physically intimate with guys too easily cuz they get what they want and would just run away. He had 6 beers.

Met a school teacher teaching geography in Southern California who came to Seattle for a social science conference. A geographer and social scientist myself, I chatted a ton with him about culture and science, and then outdoors cuz it turned out he's a surfer. I had just written a review for "Chasing Mavericks" and got all excited about surfing culture and the sport itself. He was surprised how a server at a restaurant could know a lot about stuff and is actually a writer. I gave him my number and said if he wants to surf in Taiwan he should contact me cuz I have surfer friends in Taiwan. Yeah and of course, he's cute.

It never hurts to talk about my travel experiences, passion for outdoors, and career aspiration cuz those are the things I can connect to people the best. If that aligns with their interest, they'd most likely share insights with me that inspire me in unexpected ways.

I told a man and woman at a table about the story of chopsticks. In China woods are being chopped down to plant banboos for making disposable chopsticks. In Japan and Korea they are using cornstarch and make them into biodegradable chopsticks. I told them in Taiwan we are bringing our own chopsticks so we don't use disposable ones which are bleached and could be bad for your health.

They were amazed by how much I know, and I exchanged numbers with the man, who seemed to be the woman's friend/brother cuz he told me I had a great smile. He's perhaps in his 40s but is attractive.

A couple weeks later I had a phone interview with a young professional-the executive director at Audubon International. It might be cuz we're of the same generation, I feel comfortable sharing personal anecdotes with him. I shared with him my waitressing experience and that particular conversation I had with the customers to demonstrate my understanding of environmental issues in Asia, and my ability to communicate those issues cross-culturally.

Most recently I had a conversation on sustainable practices and government incentives with the NW regional director of an architecture consulting firm. He's in town for a meeting on providing sustainable building consulting services for public schools, who receives zero incentive on federal tax deduction for conducting sustainable practices with their buildings, cuz they don't have to pay tax. I was surprised to learn about that specific field of expertise he has, and he gave me his name card and 100% tip.

This past Friday I served a table of four guys my age. Bartender Kelly winked at me right when they walked in cuz they are all kinda cute and seemed straight. The guy who wore plaid had two gin & tonics and closed his tap earlier cuz he didn't want to spend more money. He even took away the quarters from the change and left me $2 for $18 bill. His friend is cooler, he ordered his friend another gin & tonic, and tipped me 50%! He's cool.


(Kelly and Lily are both bartenders and I'm the server who just started to learn cocktails!)

It's funning that people are constantly checking each other out at bars and gyms and such. At waitressing job in particular you cannot avoid that. But what people don't know is that we are also checking our customers out, especially when Kelly and I work together-we have the same taste;)

Overtime you learn how to read people, and how to invite people into your world in a safe and fun way, like checking women's ID cuz they like to look young. Or challenge men in an inoffensive but fun way, like telling them they should get at least 4 stars out of 5 for Pad Thai, cuz there was a girl laughing at her date who got 2 stars and she said "what's the point eating a non-spicy Thai food?"

For Christmas dinner I'm invited by Greg B., the County GIS professional whom I had a coffee with for professional connection, introduced by Jim B whom I served at the restaurant.

It's more than tips and money, and I'll see how things lead me to different people and their world!




Sunday, December 2, 2012

Spying on outdoor activities in the USA.

I am a spy. In case you haven't had that figured out, here are some evidence that Kelly's staying in the US on a highly debatable status:

1. Kelly came to the US for the wilderness and meeting wilderness friends. A Washington topographic map is the first thing she bought when she arrived at Seattle in 2010. While she was legitimately a student, she is now a semi-employed climbing bum seasonally adopted by friendly Americans of different regions.

                                              (Kelly and her Whidbey Island adoptive family)

2. Acknowledged at Hannah Litz.'s house party, Kelly has obtained her US citizenship by winning her first flip-cup ever in 2011. However since then she hasn't had much luck with the game-->a threat to maintaining her citizenship.

3. Kelly is officially and professionally adopted by Washington Wildlife and Recreation Coalition and has been spying on conservation and recreation projects in Washington. Two weeks ago she sneaked into REI headquarter to participate in a meeting with folks representing outdoor gear businesses, hunters and anglers, and recreation groups in Washington.

She discovered some interesting facts about the outdoors culture in the US that relates to her personal experience traveling and meeting outdoorsy folks across the country:

#1. What is the most physically active region in the US?


Hey Northwesterners don't be too proud! The Mountain region is the champ with a 61% outdoors participation/population rate. The NW is just above the national average of 50%, still behind the West North Central and East North Central regions with 54% and 52% respectively.

Most people I met who moved to the West Coast came for a job opportunity with high-tech or bio-medical company. It is definitely a hub for some of the country's most intelligent people like Steve Jobs and Bill Gates. It is generally a region that provides new opportunities and connections with the other side of the Pacific-Asia.

On the other hand, the mountain region attracts folks with outdoor opportunities. Young outdoor enthusiasts move to the region for an adventure lifestyle. The Rockies provide countless opportunities for hiking, backpacking, climbing, mountain biking, and skiing in different seasons of year; the Colorado River is world-known for canyoneering and white-water rafting.

#2. What are the most popular outdoor activities in the US (participation rate)?

1. Running, Jogging and Trail Running 18%
2. Freshwater, Saltwater and Fly Fishing 16%
3. Road Biking, Mountain Biking and BMX 15%
4. Car, Backyard and RV Camping 15%
5. Hiking 12%

As compared by states, I take a closer look at Washington(W), Utah(U), Colorado(C), and Montana(M):

Trails (hiking, backpacking, rock climbing): M-49%, U-43%, C-41%, W-39%
Wildlife Watching: M-48%, W-44%, C-33%, U-32%
Camping: M-46%, U-46%, W-36%,  C-28%
Bicycling: C-35%, M-33%, W-32%, U-25%
Fishing: M-27%, U-21%, W-16%, C-15%
Paddling: M-24%, U-15%, W-12%,  C-11%
Snow Sports: C-21%, M-19%, U-19%, W-12%
Hunting: M-22%, U-10%, W-4%, C-4%

Again while we think people use trails immensely in Washington, Washington is still behind Montana, Utah, and Colorado's in terms of participation rate in trail activities. It might be owning to the rain in winter. I also thought Washington would have more paddle sports because of the Puget Sound and the lakes, but I guess the Colorado River is providing better opportunities for that than the Sound.

Washington's lower participation rates in snow sports and hunting doesn't surprise me though. But not beating Colorado and Montana for biking does make me wonder why, as I've seen more bikers in Seattle more than places I've been in Colorado and Montana.

#3. Is outdoors a Caucasian activity?

78 percent of American outdoor participants identify themselves as Caucasian. However for young adults there's a growing Asian population participating in outdoor activities. Getting exercise and hanging out with friends and family is the top two reasons why Americans participate in outdoor activities. It is the same among all cultures I guess.

                                          (Mimi is my only Asian girl climber friend in the US)

However there is a difference for valuing fitness. Among my friends there are white Americans, Asian Americans, and Asians who participate in outdoor sports. White American boys and girls tend like to stay or get stronger, and would be flattered if somebody says they're strong. Quite oppositely, if someone says that I'm strong in Mandarin Chinese or in Taiwanese cultural context, there is a negative connotation cuz it is a complement for men, not women.

I have lots of female Taiwanese friends who love outdoor sports, but very few of them would appreciate it when people call them strong. Not even myself. Over years I realize when Americans say that, it is a compliment and to some extent it implies attractiveness. It takes me a while to explain to my Asian guy friends why Americans like girls to be strong.

          (One of my Taiwanese guy friends commented that I'm "too manly" in this picture.)

My ex-roommate Nai's Asian American. She and her boyfriend both embrace the value of fitness. It would sound extremely weird if I were to tell my Taiwanese guy friends that her boyfriend would ask her to lift weights to get her arms more muscular. Similarly, it would also sound weird to Americans that my ex would stop me from doing push-ups cuz he thought I'm already too strong, which is a bad thing for a girl.

The longer I stay in the US, the less tolerant I am to folks that criticize me for doing activities that make my shoulder, back, arms, or legs stronger and look like a dude. Though every once in a while, it is still a bit embarrassing imagining myself walking on a street in Asia. It's challenging and interesting to live in two cultures.

My brother took a picture for me when we hiked to a hot spring in Washington. He said: You look good, but  your arms are too big from the Asian's perspective. He also knows two cultures, and was telling me to be aware of judgment from my diverse facebook friends.

But I'm still doing whatever I want, and this is more encouraged in this country, and is perhaps why some of the most adventurous people are from this country because nobody would stop them from taking risks or getting physically exhausted or injured.

It makes a huge difference especially for girls like me. When my grandma tells me don't get too wild like a dude, or when my mom says don't go climbing every weekend, I know why I am in American, and will continue my spying mission of exploring the American West.







Wednesday, November 28, 2012

My American Thanksgivings:)

2010 Thanksgiving for the very first time

Meggers Macphaden is one of my first friends in Seattle. She is the first person that reached out to me when I was establishing a new life in America. As a local Seattlite, Meg has a very cohesive family and friend circle -a core that intimately provides her constant support.

(Meg's mom showed her turkey around the room.)

Meg is exceptionally willing to share her family love with me. What Megan has in her family is all that I have in Taiwan, hard-working and fun-loving parents, who are somewhat protective of their daughter and always have to deal with the girl's adventures that make them gasp.

                                                            (We are a pair of troubles.)

I imagined myself as the Caucasian newcomers that wanted to express my gratitude to the natives. I made Kimchi fried rice, and absolutely loved Meg's mom's Southern-style cooking with a Northwest touch. It was my first time having brussel sprouts, and I totally loved them! I also fell in love with American pie, which are not really good for your waist line especially when you eat it with ice cream, but yum.....!!

                                                                     (A table of yummies!)

I was shocked when Meg's dad volunteered to do dishes and her boyfriend at the time helped make food and clean up too. Coming from a traditional Taiwanese family, boys usually don't do kitchen stuff unless they are told to do so. Some women consider kitchen their territory that they do not want men to touch anything.

                                                 (Do I not look like an adopted daughter?)

I was pleasantly surprised by how American men are helping out in the kitchen, and is glad that my brother and some Asian boys in my generation are taught well in this respect. Still, I consider cooking as my pride of being a woman, just like how meeting other social expectations empowers me.

2011 Thanksgiving with Northwest Islanders

It took me a while to figure out what to make for Ellen's family. Ellen is another friend of mine who is also a Washington native, to be more specific, a native islander. She grew up on Vashon, a Puget Sound island full of hippies and rednecks.

                                                               (They raise chicken for eggs)

Ellen's family is absolutely hippie-ish, extremely liberal minded, health-conscious diet (local/organic), and have their own chicken and goats. I wanted to bring something they would surely eat, so definitely not some weird Asian food or Americanized Asian food, but baked yam chips, very basic and simple, catering to hippies of all regions.

                                           (We had a great dinner and a great hike the next day!)

We went on a hike the next morning with Ellen's lovely parents and puppy-super healthy activity right after Thanksgiving. Ellen's family is full of love as well, but not as expressive as Megan's. They're fun too, but calm and mellow, whereas Meg's family is more goofy and playful. It's great how family love is contagious and continue to warm my heart in my Seattle life.

2012 Thanksgiving with Japanese American family

My friend Mariko is a 4th generation Japanese American. It is impressive how they can stick to their cultural heritage for 4 generations straight in the melting pot. You'd think the family is full of traditions, but they are just as fun as other American families I've met.

                                                   (Mariko's warm smile and asparagus!)

Mariko has her Japanese and American elements. She's a small, friendly, and sweet Asian girl, and is also an adventurous, outdoorsy, and independent American young lady. Her parents are hardcore fisherman, and all of them cook fine cuisines.

                                                           (Another table of yummies!!)

I was expecting a ton of seafood but ended up having a lot of good meat and pies! There's also rice, sticky rice, and Asian-style pork and sweet potato. I made pumpkin ribs for them, modified from a Taiwanese dish-pumpkin pork. This is one of the few times I can make an authentic Asian dish without worrying that ppl won't eat it.

                                                      (Mariko's parents and friends)

I went climbing and hiking with my new Northwest friends on that weekend. It starts to feel like I am having my own circle and not always tagging along somebody else's family or partner circle. Transition is hard cuz you don't have a core, and at the same time you are not anyone else's priority. I'm glad my solid interest is making me a seemingly solid friend group that I can count on to hang out with.

          (Greg broke my stereotype of flaky Northwesterners cuz he makes things happen.)

And as always, always thankful to those that reach out to me and make me feel like home in my American life. That's what Thanksgiving is all about, sharing and giving, and love.





Monday, November 12, 2012

"Keep climbing! Make friends!"- advice from professional networking?!

"So what kind of music do you like?" asked Greg B., King County GIS Center marketing manager, aka past-president of GIS professionals. (GIS: geographic information system, geospatial technology tool)

"Well I am still developing my taste for American music, but so far I like folk music and bluegrass..." I said timidly. This is definitely not a question I would've expected out of a "professional networking" coffee. 

It all started during my new waitressing job at the Asian restaurant downtown. An old man walked in and sat by himself. I went over and talked to him during a break. My eyes got wide open when I heard he works for a publication company, has lived in China for 20 years, and has been doing international publishing, dedicating to cross-culture communication.

So I had coffee with this 50-60 year old man Jim B., and he connected me to the president of Washington China Relations Council Joe B., and King County GIS guy Greg B.

I have a wide spectrum of interests and is often confusing to people in terms of how they can help me. It seems like I am passionate about environmental science, geography, and natural resource management. But I am also bilingual and interested in communications and journalism. In addition I can do both field work that involves being in the woods or wilderness.

(Taroko National Park in Taiwan)

So the ideal job for me is to work on natural resource planning projects in a forest/mountain/rural community, and be the bridge between scientists and the public, or Western to Eastern culture (as what international conservancies would need).

But I need to start somewhere small and local, somewhere that involves a piece of my skills and get experienced, and thus more choices later on.

It is surprising how these professionals are willing to help, in a way that caters to my interest. Instead of simply telling me what to do, they asked me a lot of questions from what I want for a job to my hobbies and friends. 

"What is more difficult than mountain climbing?" asked another middle-aged guy that sat at the bar in our restaurant after he learned that I climb and do backpacking. 

(Outdoors is addictive)

"Nothing," but I was hesitant, because for me being in the wilderness gives me energy to go back to my life that's full of uncertainties. I love mountains and rocks, cuz they are the most solid thing on earth, more solid than anything I can feel in my US life without family and a full-time job.

It reminds me of Scott K., another 50-year old white man, a hydroengineer who climbs. We met at a professional conference on water resources, and ran into each other at the bouldering gym. Ever since then we've gone out climbing once with his 20 something coworkers and a couple of times at the gym.

"Once you start working you'll make friends, and things will come along. If you are in the field of environmental science there's no lack of outdoorsy folks." said Scott K. There are only 35 people in his environmental consulting company, and there are 3 couples, 2 of them are climbers. 

(Mad River Trail with Tobias & Megan- never gotta stop making friends for outdoor fun)

On the other hand the King County GIS guy suggested me not only to look for a job, but friends: "Friends are important. You don't just find jobs, you should find friends that share your interest and you'll be happier staying here." He spoke to my heart exactly. Then he asked me about my music taste, and I learned that his son is in a bluegrass band and is working a GIS job in Portland. He is a couple days older than me and is a dude who would friend a bum.

So he'd probably friend me, a girl who has solid interest, fluid life, and is transient not by choice. I am still on my monthly lease, ready to move for jobs whenever wherever I get one.
(I finally went climbing with a group of folks around my age!)

"Don't go back, do what you gotta do here." said EVERYONE. They see me working hard, and going back home seems like a full-fledged bird that's ready to fly, but stays in its nest for comfort.

Sometimes you forget that we are all humans. Humans live by connections, and connections is not just about benefits and networking. It is about something deeper within you that gives you a role in somebody else's life. Professional networking, when it comes down to it, is also a form of connection between two human beings. 

And I am glad that they learn about me as Kelly who studies this, wants to do that, and is interested in blah blah blah. Not just Kelly who has a XX degree and needs a job.

So I'll keep applying for jobs, do what I like, sit back and see how things would hopefully eventually come along. If not, I will still be climbing, hiking, writing, and have a life like I did in school and will do forever.






Saturday, November 3, 2012

Seattle Life VS American Dream


The Seattle dream

Numerous come here for the "fresh" air. People are forward-looking, hard-working, and progressive. As it seems, many also hold a healthy lifestyle, biking even on a rainy day and buying their local organic grocery.

(Sustainability everywhere in town)

This is the Seattle dream. You work for a big name company (Google, Amazon, Microsoft, Boeing, Apple...etc), participate in a variety of sports/activities from hot yoga to stand-up paddleboarding, or whitewater rafting and hiking on the Eastside of the Cascades. You can also enjoy highly intellectual conversations with randomners or go to science talks/exhibitions to fulfill the civic need.

The Seattle rain

To enjoy the lush green and the scenic view, or perhaps the NW signature salmon, you gotta bear the rain.

It's fairly unbearable for a subtropical girl like me. I am used to humidity. Despite the constant rain Seattle, it is still dry enough to cause my dry-eye syndrome that I need an eye ointment to keep them moist. Not that I hate dry air. It'll be more desirable if the rain comes as thunderstorm that just leaves in half an hour, as dynamic as you can feel the vibration of mother earth.  

(You don't wait for a sunny day to do field work in lush woods)

I remember the thunderstorm chasing me when I hiked down Mt Olympus in Salt Lake City. That was scary but wonderful. That is what rain is supposed to be, for me. The typhoon in Taiwan is the same. It brings a cool breeze to the extreme warmth, like a timely drop on a dessert plant.

The Seattle Freeze

Say you're satisfied and adjusted to the weather, and consider that fresh salmon, a Mariners game, or freshly-brewed IPA is definitely worth the rain in Seattle.

Next you would need friends to make your NW experience more enjoyable.

If you're lucky, you make friends with the locals, or hang out with people you've known from out of town. You can also join the online dating/meetup or any partner-finding or friend-making website to expand your social circle.

Or you'll end up like me, lucky enough to be invited to my NW friend's circle, but never able to find a group of my own that share the same interest, lifestyle, and values that associated with the same stage in life- that is the twenties in transition, down to travel and see the world.

That is what I used to have in Taiwan where I have different friend groups that share different interests and values. But like myself, a lot of them are traveling and experiencing different jobs/towns.

                                        (Summer is always fun, and yeah, all the ladies)

In general, people don't invest friendship unless they know you enough and you share their activities. The locals stick to their "core" -family or partner, or old friends, and barely reach out when they meet new folks.

This is nothing to blame, but it was a cultural shock to me coming from Taiwan, where people are inviting, welcoming, and nice to you for no reason. Especially when you're new to the place and interested in the local wonders, they often can't wait to show you around and make you love the place as much as they do.

Most of the Northwesterners aren't like that. I love the American West and some parts of American culture, especially the outdoors lifestyle, but few would appreciate that and consider it's their business to reach out to you.
                                        (Salt Lake City, Utah's friendliness impressed me big time)

My connection to this land is mostly built through reading, traveling, and some good friends. Unlike my connection and travel experiences in Thailand or rural Taiwan, it's almost all built on peer travelers and local friendships.

Ongoing cultural shock

The culture is making me more closed-off because people are usually only genuinely friendly when they are close to you. If I were to be more friendly and inviting, I am exposing myself to a weird situation where with guys they'll think you're hitting on them, and with girls, they'll respond in a friendly but distant way.

  (NW lady friends)

What if I just want to make friends?

There is no such thing because my new roommate says guys only gets two messages from single girls 1. She likes me. 2. She doesn't like me.

This means you can either hang out and potentially start dating, or not be friends. There is no such thing like my friendship with guys in Taiwan. It seems awkward for people to think about the idea of making friends with an opposite sex when you are single. Cuz you don't make friends with new single guys/girls, or you date.

I met a Japanese dude my age in the National Taiwan Museum for a native Taiwanese exhibition two years ago. He was interested in Taiwanese culture and history, so I toured him around my home town and took him to my grandparents' place and let them talk in Japanese. He kept in touch with my grandma for a year and came back to Taiwan again and stayed in my grandparents' place.

That was the level of friendliness in Taiwan, and it was normal and wonderful.

My Seattle Jobs

It's been frustrating and unsatisfying, and I wonder how much longer can I stand.

I am a writer, but I'm just a cheap labor. The fact is I love my two unpaid writing jobs, one is with the Washington Wildlife and Recreation Coalition, and the other with the Seattle Chinese Times.


I go to free movies and theaters and write reviews, and even a restaurant to write a review for the Chinese Times. I also have four of my travel journals published with them and two OP-EDs, For the most part I write in English because the Chinese community in Seattle speak and write English better than Chinese, I guess. Though I wrote the travel journals and a review in Chinese to fully express my feelings in words.

My boss at the Coalition is a 26 year old young man. He is cute,smart, and friendly so I first thought he's gay, but it turned out that he's not. He assigned me writing tasks including newsletter, newspaper articles, and even edittting a letter to the governor/county official regarding local conservation and recreation projects.

These are great opportunities for me to build on my strengths and passion, but not something that pays my bills.

When your passion doesn't pay you

I have two paid part-time jobs now, so with the two unpaid ones, I have four.

To make money and see a different world I served in an Asian restaurant downtown. Downtown, meaning big tips and potential networking. But I also see a different world in America that many, especially the middle class in the country wouldn't realize.

The sushi chef is a 22 year old young man from China. He got here on a student VISA, but like me, got a work permission to stay for a period of time. However, he did not graduate. He dropped off UCLA because he bought his TOEFL(Test Of English as a Foreign Language ) score from a Chinese agency and cannot speak English at all. He is also not interested in studying so he went to San Francisco and started working with a Chinese buffet restaurant.

Unlike me, he was able to go home despite that his status is highly debatable (student VISA work permission only accepts jobs in your field and need to be either enrolled in school or graduated). He paid an American lawyer for his status, so he is able to travel.

Now he is super nice to our bartender-a 23 year old Greek girl. She grew up in a first generation immigration family, but has citizenship. The Chinese guy's plan is to marry her and get Greencard.

My other part-time jobs is to research Seattle Time's archive and collect all the NW dam-removal related news for a phD student from UC Santa Cruz.

Seattle Life VS American Dream

I have not gone home for 14 months. I am extremely homesick and have no idea what can potentially be a cure.

Maybe a full-time job that allows me to apply what I learn from school to environmental conservation, and I'll keep freelance writing just cuz I like it.

But I am ready to move on and experience other places outside of Seattle. After my epic trip to the wild West this summer, I am so reluctant to return and constantly felt out of place wandering on the streets in Seattle. My heart has flown away.

Finding jobs out of state is hard, unless you are an engineer, doctor or lawyer that seem to be welcome anywhere in the world. The employers look for in-state candidates first. I am also building my professional connections in the NW. Seattle also gives me my chances to do writings from an Asian perspective, and for the environment though I just started my writing path.

The only thing I know now is that I am not happy, and it's been 3 months that I am constantly going through ups and downs. Fortunately I have friends that keep in touch and encourage me to stay strong and positive.

I have come to believe that perhaps if America is not giving me a chance for a full-time job, or a chance to experience places outside of Seattle, I might as well go home, or just wherever I can stay happy and healthy.

Culture matters, and this is something that I didn't realize two years ago when I believe with friendliness and sensitivity you overcome cultural barrier. Because culture shapes you too, and I don't like it.

Take me away, or take me home; whatever that gets me.